Kajol CowedShe should have been trolled for eating lunch at a ‘pop-up’ restaurant, a grating, outworn trend. But this being ‘new India’, Kajol was trolled for eating beef. Or at least that’s how the chef, her “very sweet friend, Ryan”, described his dish-“beef pepper water with dry lentils and dry,Kajol CowedShe should have been trolled for eating lunch at a ‘pop-up’ restaurant, a grating, outworn trend. But this being ‘new India’, Kajol was trolled for eating beef. Or at least that’s how the chef, her “very sweet friend, Ryan”, described his dish-“beef pepper water with dry lentils and dry beef”. Kajol had an inkling that Ryan had done something very naughty because she promised to “cut his hands off after this”. Cue the inevitable trolling and the even more inevitable apology. It was buffalo, not beef, clarified Kajol, assuring everyone that it was not her intention to hurt religious sentiments. Someone should let the US government know. Its definition of beef includes Indian buffalo meat, helping India become, alongside Brazil, the world’s leading exporter of ‘beef’. Over 50 per cent of which comes from UP, led by Yogi Adityanath, whose cow-loving credentials need no blandishment. You say beef, I say buff. Beef, buff, buff, beef. Let’s call the whole thing off.Aiz-ole ole oleAizawl FC became champions after a nervy performance away at northeastern neighbours Shillong Lajong. They were lucky losers, relegated last season but given an opportunity after the big Goa clubs withdrew. Aizawl’s entire budget is apparently less than what runners-up Mohun Bagan pay their best player. A midfielder from war-ravaged Aleppo made Aizawl, whose team consists of mostly local players from Mizoram, even easier to support. The AIFF wants to turn the Indian Super League, a soulless retirement home for European and South American players, into the national first division. Fans of the game, rather than of TV spectacles, should tell the AIFF they want the real thing, footballing pride over ‘quality’, sport over staged exhibitions.advertisementYou’re Fyred!A luxury music festival in the Bahamas promoted by models mostly famous for being famous, like Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner, turned out to be peddling illusions. Let’s laugh at people stupid enough and rich enough to have fallen for the lies, but let’s also force Instagram celebrities to clarify what is product placement and what is ‘real’.